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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

An Example of the Haphazard Nature of Online Dating

Apropos of nothing except that I feel like talking about dating, I started trolling (haha! funny weird choice...you'll see why later) on OkCupid this weekend.

Did you know that they've changed the Quickmatch feature into something akin to Tindr? (I'm sorry. I've been complaining about it to anyone who will listen all weekend it would seem). So on Lovey*'s advice I've been trying to look at it as if it were a game. Ignoring the fact that I'm dismissing people solely on their appearance knowing nothing about what type of person they are (insomuch as I could ever know that via their profiles anyway). As a self-professed and acknowledged superficial-ageist, this plays to all my worst and basest impulses, which aggrieves me. (Which is the reason I never downloaded the app after Pindi- that's not his name btw- showed it to me). Anyhoo, so I was "swiping" on OkCupid yesterday- brutal- truly, all the ug-mugs (as my mom calls 'em) got tossed. When I come across a guy amongst my matches that I recognized. So I look carefully and suddenly I'm like,

"Holy Shit! This dude is an actor!"

So my first impulse is "Not cool, this is some dude using the actor's face as his profile picture", until I click through to see more of his pics (still can't see the profile though) and it's him, the actual actor. Because while the first picture looked a little more like a head shot (it wasn't but he's an actor so I'm guessing by default most posed pics probably look like head shots), the other pictures are a series of selfies. So I'm like what is this dude doing on OkCupid? Until I remember that I've actually heard a couple different stories about celebrity people being on OkCupid and Match and stuff. (For example, Jessica from TrueBlood met her fiance - or maybe husband by now- on Match.)

Anyway, so I'm looking at this dude, he's cute, he's a bit age-Ed (44) but you know, that's, ahem, um, well, that's just my age range now, isn't it? So I'm like just give him a star and that's when it hit me- it's dude from Gremlins!!!! I couldn't believe it! First off, I can't believe I can't remember his name, I used to know it easy. (I mean I still remember Phoebe Cates so why can't I remember his name?) I think it's Zach-something, but that could have been his character's name, but I feel like the character was Charlie (or David?) maybe it's vice versa? I'm really losing it. Anyhoo, in my shock I forgot to look to see how much of a match we were (the percentage I mean), I feel like that's something I would have to brag about (which is probably why I didn't see it). But I gave him a star and kept it moving. So weird right? He must be planning to pick up a child on OkCupid because anyone in our age range is going to be like "GremlinsGremlinsGremlinsGremlins!!!!" as soon as they see his face.

And on a related note, do you suppose he was doing the normal guy thing and lying about his age? I ask 'cuz I was a little kid when Gremlins came out, I remember this. And he was a teenager in the movie (so you know he was in his twenties IRL). How could he possibly be only 44? I mean he looked 44 but how could he actually BE 44? Well, one way or another, he's still super cute (I used to love him as a kid - he was just my type of WB back in the day). My second-grade crush (who was actually a boy in sixth grade- I suppose I wasn't ageist then, was I?) looked just like him. That's what I liked about the boy.

Ah well, just add this to the sort of weird shit that occasionally happens to me I guess.(I think fairly recently I said something to someone about getting- or having- a Mowgli. Maybe this is my chance!!! LOL!)

*Not her name, but of course Zach-something or other is actually I think, Zach ______ (something or other)

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