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Tuesday, June 17, 2014


So it doesn't actually make a difference because the woman is leaving soon (as in quitting) but I keep being really weird around the VP of the department. I don't know what's wrong with me. The two times that I've been alone in the elevator with her, I've been completely inarticulate when she tried to speak with me. It's hard to describe how exactly but you'd get it if you saw me. I'm a complete spaz.

Anyway, it's quitting time around here today and I run into her leaving her office so I say good night and she says it's been a quiet day (sure, okay and here it is) AND THEN she reaches out to pat me on my shoulder and I actually (completely involuntarily, I must note) FLINCH AWAY from her touch! I don't know why the f*ck I did it. I know she wasn't going to hit me, and I'm not afraid of her anyway. I can count on one hand how many times in my entire life I've flinched away from someone. (Incidentally, one of the other times was when the young doctor took my hand to look at...I actually don't remember what he was looking at, either my ring or my wrist. I knew he wasn't going to hurt me but I actually flinched away from him like we were playing that slapping hands game.) So embarrassing! I hope it wasn't as obvious to her as it was to me but really, it had to be. I actually shrugged out of her reach. Wow, you'd think I didn't like being touched or something. So weird.

I will say this though, in my defense...why the hell was she going to touch me in the first place? It was weird to begin with. Like patting me on the shoulder? Huh? Why? Seriously, the whole thing was bizarre but my reaction takes the cake. I honestly can't account for myself.

I just had to share.