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Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Single Life

Cue the Cameo music...

Right now, I guess I am thinking that I need to be out of my house more. Meet more people. Men in particular. (Although honestly, I'm not up for the meat market most of "mixer" events are) but as they say I'm not gonna meet anyone in my house and no one is gonna knock on my front door and be like "Hey there sexy, I'm the man of your dreams" unless he's the UPS man or the TimeWarner guy. Which by definition would make him NOT the man of my dreams.

Last night, my Dad- MY DAD! said "you guys (meaning me and my brother) are almost forty and you haven't found mates yet". (First of all: I am NOT almost forty and my brother just broke up with his girlfriend, she moved out- just as he was about to propose.) to be fair I know my dad wasn't saying it as a diss, he was lamenting. But the point is he's worried about us. He worries that brothers and I are going to slip backward in terms of upward mobility. In part because we're out here alone instead of having mates that we can "build" with. He credits his wife as a crucial part of how he was able to move into the upper middle class because they were able to build wealth together. Now he's witnessing none of us having counterparts to build with.

It was a depressing but true convo. My brothers' relationships have fallen apart and I've never really had anyone at all and so he's worried. My eldest brother's already in his forties and by my Dad's (and incidentally my therapist's) estimation, we're gonna be forty tomorrow. We need to start really thinking of the future. Which is true. And though I don't think my potential life partner is at any mixer/speed dating things, I guess I need to get into practice being social. I have great-grandma tendencies- I don't want to leave my house, I don't want to have to talk to people I don't know. I don't want to dance around and drink and crap. My friend Claire said I'm feral- which is a step away from being unfit for normal human interaction. So I got to get over it. Ugh.

Anyway, you can officially add my father to the pile of people who say we're (meaning me and all my friends) are too picky. He said too many black men have been led off the "right path" and so we need to be willing to pick a man up and dust him off if we want a mate. I almost told him that's why I'm not looking for a black man any more. LOL. But I kept that to myself. ('Cuz I'm still not sure that it's true- it's still under debate- take that Ralph Richard Banks).

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