So tonight is the Mega Millions lotto drawing. Like a good (yet foolish) girl, I already have three tickets in my possession. One gifted to me by one of my dearest friends (I think it was a late Christmas gift), and two I bought over my lunch break. I'm debating currently buying a fourth. For some reason, five keeps coming to me- but I'm gonna cut my losses and stick with three I think. You only need one to win right?
And speaking of winning, though I don't seriously think there's even a possibility, every time I give it any real somber thought I break out in a cold sweat. My heart races. My head starts to hurt. My stomach starts to churn. Funnily enough, these are also the feelings I get when I think of love. No wonder I'm a single girl huh?
Not that I don't want these things: Love and/or Money. I just associate them both with such awful stuff: Lotto winners have strangers that prey on them, old friends that come out of the woodwork, distant cousins with hard luck stories, etc. Lovers have lies, betrayals, manipulations that last long after the love fades. It makes you not even want to do it, don't buy that ticket, don't play those numbers, don't trust that person, don't fall for that line. These moments are when you really see people at their worst. And it's gnashing the teeth kind of scary… at least for me.
But imagining the freedom that could come with all that money, the happiness that could come with knowing you're loved. It's compelling. It's seductive. It makes you blow your hard earned money on those ridiculously miniscule odds (I'm talk love AND money now people).
So like I said, I bought three ticket, and I'm contemplating a fourth… I also have my eye on a certain someone at Match.com. Wish me luck!