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Thursday, January 6, 2011

Is Fat Un-Sexy?

Back in my former life, when I wrote for an internet mag that doesn't exist anymore, I wrote a little something in which I questioned whether fat was sexy. Citing big-girl friends, a coworker no man seemed to be able to get enough of and a certain Ms. Lisa Nicole Carson (of Ally McBeal/ER fame) I wondered aloud if big girls were in the midst of a renaissance. Seems as though the answer is no, not in the 2011.

Recently, I was reading Belle in Brooklyn's blog on Essence (apparently, I'm on a black women's blog kick in the '11) and she was talking about how black women's weight issues are turning men off. When I read it I was surprised, honest to God. Really, I knew that was a sticking point for white men, asian men. I've even had those convos with people about it. (i.e. if I'm serious about opening up my dating landscape maybe I should consider losing a couple, two, three, twenty pounds or so…) But silly me, I thought if Black men didn't actually prefer it (some don't – my father being a prime example) at least for the most part they really didn't care one way or another. I know plenty of big girls that are batting away men like flies. And I'm not talking about the morbidly obese now- waddling down the street, looking like they are going to die after taking a flight of stairs- Black, white, pink, purple, or blue, they may have problems finding anybody but the proverbial "chubby chasers". But I thought a girl my size (alternately anything from a 10 to 16- my weight fluctuations are a real b*tch) wasn't going to get much static from the brothas. But apparently, nope. My Black men hate that sh*t too.

So Belle was talking about all the letters she got from a male reader (she excerpt some of them- "mac & cheese, the spaghetti, the fried chicken and friend [sic] pork chops have become YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY") about the fact that maybe black women were disproportionately alone because we were lard a$$es! She said her last boyfriend had basically said something like that to her and so when she read the emails, she sat in Starbucks and cried until her eyes were puffy. L That is so hard to hear. I mean even if you're like me and you've heard people (like my dad) say it a million times, to read it in print- not framed nicely either- is rough. So all that to say, stay in that gym girl. Whether it's your co-worker Brad or Khalil from around the way, they're gonna be far more interested if you're rail thin than curvy (as euphemism for chunky).

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